Saturday, October 1, 2011

An extreme makeover: the God edition

I'm sitting in Aaron's hospital room looking out the window at the sun attempting to break through the gray clouds and remind us it's still there.
I know God is there doing the same thing. While there's all this gloom covering right now I know that God is right on the other side, not only reassuring me but also waiting to welcome Aaron into his kingdom and show him to his mansion. I know this isn't how it happens, but I imagine God yelling, "Move that bus!" Aaron seeing the mansion and God saying "welcome home Aaron Jamison. Welcome home". Aaron is about to get an extreme makeover of Godly proportions. He will be cancer free, pain free, no diabetes, able to run, jump, sing, do all the things that have been slowly taken away from him.

Over the past 24 hours he has become more and more unresponsive. This morning I thank God that he was alert enough for him to respond when I said I loved him and for me say goodbye and tell him it was ok to go home when he was ready and that I would be ok. I really believe that. I know God will take care of me. While I will miss him and still go through grieving for the loss of my husband and best friend I have peace.

As I'm writing this I'm listening to Pandora online singing "Blessed be the name of the Lord. You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name." Aaron seems to be more peaceful with music playing. Yesterday was the Gaither Vocal Band, today it's Mercy Me Radio. There is something in Music that God has always used to speak to me. It never fails that just when I need it, the perfect song comes on the radio. I know Aaron used music as a prayer language to God.

I want to thank everyone for the overwhelming response in comments, prayers and well wishes. Aaron is an amazing man and I know he touched alot of people through this journey and before. While it doesn't seem fair at times, I know God used Aaron to reach so many people that otherwise may have never had a seed planted in their life. While I knew God before I married Aaron, he still made a huge impact of my relationship with God as well as opening my eyes to other things. I became a more open, accepting Christian. I learned through Aaron that It doesn't matter what race, gender, sexual preference, living situation, mental status, emotional status, financial status, God calls us to love them, not judge. You will never reach someone for God or plant a seed if you are judging or condemning them or telling them God doesn't love them because of who or how they are. God looks at everyone the same, in love, and he's the one who will be the judge in the end. We are called to love in Jesus' name in the mean time.

Thank you Aaron for being my best friend. You love me more than I though any man ever could. You always made me feel beautiful, loved and accepted as I am. Even when I was depressed, in sweats with bead head. I couldn't have asked God for a better mate. You were an answer to prayer. I pray for you now that you would rest, have sweet dreams and run into our Father's arms. With all the elderly people who pass, I'm sure he's looking forward to some young blood and better jokes. I imagine your Comedy Sportz jersey and ref shirt will be waiting for you in your mansion's closet.
I love you beyond what I can express.

Love always,
Your Monkey


  1. Oh Kristin, that was so beautiful. <3

  2. Kristin, this is a beautiful blog. I know that loves you more than words can tell. He is so proud of you. We prayed that God would give Aaron a godly mate who loved him for who is is...and God did.

  3. i'm sorry kristin. you will live on in his memory, and remember his love for the rest of your life. be strong and know that many many people care.

    love from canada,

  4. "an extreme makeover of Godly proportions" *i-heart-that* more prayers and energy being sent your way.

  5. I am thinking of you both and sending my love. I hope God makes his presence abundantly known to you in the tough upcoming weeks and months!

  6. Beautifully said. So sorry for your loss.

  7. RIP Aaron. Kristin, may all the pain and suffering you are enduring be short and pass quickly. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  8. God will bless you. You are graceful and benevolent and I'm sure your beloved Aaron is enjoying the blessings of heaven.

  9. RIP Aaron. I am so sorry Kristen and even though you don't know me I followed Aaron story from when it was on CNN. I am terribly sorry and wish there was more that I could say.